I’ve been told by several that I seem like a “nice girl.”
Fuck that noise. I am neither “nice” or a “girl”.
What do I mean by that?
Nice, as I’ve seen it used in context, implies that I try to please everyone. I certainly don't do that.
Nice conjures images of innocent and unsuspecting women that make you feel good all the time. The epitome of sugar, spice and everything nice. But the spice is usually minimized in this imaging.
I don’t do that shit.
I also don’t like being called a “girl.” I’ve noticed this odd trend of infantilizing people when they call women well into their 20’s and 30’s “girls”. I do not like this trend.
Modern society (minus this odd trend) would call this a norm: girls are teenagers. Early 20’s is questionable on whether to call someone a “girl” or a “woman” (or neither if they present as what looks to be a woman but don’t identify with that— fuck the binary!), but I’m still a proponent of asking what they prefer as they’re adults with their own autonomy. Late 25 or older… that’s when I’d consider switching over to using “woman” exclusively. Others may see this differently.
I am kind. I try to find the win-win for everyone, and sometimes that means giving up some of what you wanted so everyone can get what they need. And I stand up for that as often as I can.
People don’t always like me for it, and I’ve had some real negative lashback on standing up for myself with compassion. Some would call that being a bitch. But to many others, it’s being kind.
As for the other part? I’m 28. I’ve traveled. I’ve gone through my growth periods in my early 20’s. The way I socialize and see the world has changed. The way I interact with people and use my energy has matured.
I am not a nice girl.
I am a kind woman.